There are times when we don’t have words to portray what we are feeling inside. It feels like a hole within that we are trying to fill every moment. The hole seems infinitely large and we can try to fill it up with all our might but it remains. As humans we often get uncomfortable with silence and we try to keep busy. We make for ourselves a jam packed schedule. Even when we are free we try to watch movies, or reels, but it has to be something. It can be a book or a game or a trip to somewhere. It can also be a religious place or an amusement park. Even on a holiday where we get sometime for ourselves we try and use that time for certain activity.
We don’t get uncomfortable with free time. We get uncomfortable with the thoughts we have if we let our mind wander freely. We start thinking about our existence and its purpose. We start seeing the presence of our soul as an entirely different entity than our body. We start analyzing and introspecting. We find ourselves thinking of thoughts that we often don’t like when others have them. We start seeing ourselves in everyone. Our mind keeps asking again and again, “What is the point of it all?”With that thought, the hole within starts expanding.
At that point you can go back to fill that hole like you have been doing before or you can feel it expand more and more. The second choice is really frightening.You don’t know what is on the other side. It is an unfamiliar territory and that is where it starts to get uncomfortable. There is no right or wrong choice. The whole situation is just weird. The more we think about it, the weirder it gets. This is the point when we again go back to being busy. Our body won’t let us be in that situation anymore.
We think are are free but I believe that true freedom lies beyond the uncomfortable. The one who can get past it will know for sure. But when we regularly start giving free time to ourselves we start realizing the beauty that lies in the uncomfortable or the unknown.
